


euphoria

by orphan_account



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/M, Gay Harley Keener, Hurt Peter Parker, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Morgan Stark is 13 years old, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Parent Pepper Potts, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Slow Burn, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 22:44:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19451008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Peter Parker-Stark got addicted to painkillers when he was 13 years old after his dad got his Arc Reactor removed.His sister found him after an overdose when he was 15.He met Harley Keener after he got out of rehab when he was 16 years old.





	euphoria

**Author's Note:**

> this work is loosely inspired by the show euphoria starring zendaya.
> 
> all quotes taken directly from the show are in bold, they are not my quotes and I do not take credit for them. 
> 
> i do not own this show or any characters in it.

* * *

**_I don’t remember much between the ages of eight and twelve. Just that the world moved fast, and my brain moved slow._ **

**_And every now and then, if I focused too closely on the way I breathed... I’d die._ **

**_Until every second of every day, you find yourself trying to outrun your anxiety._ **

**_And quite frankly, I’m just fucking exhausted._ **

**_And at some point, you make a choice about who you are and what you want._ **

**_I just showed up one day, without a map or a compass... or, to be honest, anyone capable of giving an iota of good fucking advice._ **

**_And I know it all may seem sad, but guess what?_ **

**_I didn’t build this system, nor did I fuck it up._ **

* * *

“Hello? Earth to Peter? You there bud?” MJ asked Peter waving a hand in front of his face.

”Huh, oh. Yeah, hi.” Peter shook his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts. 

“Where were you?” MJ asked him softly, placing a hand on his arm. She was worried. 

And she had every right to be. He was high, like always. Always high, never there. Not willing to accept the reality of life so opting to escape through Xanax or opioids, anything he could get his hands on. 

“Nowhere, just kinda zoned out I guess.” Peter shrugged, turning to MJ. 

“Don’t lie to me, Parker. Where were you, really?” MJ asked again, pointing a finger at her best friend. 

Peter rested his forehead on MJ’s shoulder, sighing as he closed his eyes.

”I never asked to be alive. None of us did. Whatever god is out there just threw us into life.” Peter mumbled, the loud music from Flash’s party starting to make him head throb.

”We can go. You can crash at my place, you’re still too high to go home.” MJ said.

MJ was always covering Peter’s ass. After he got back from rehab five days ago he had been drowning himself in as many drugs as he could get his hands on. He’d been staying at MJ’s for the past three days, avoiding his mom, dad, and sister as much as possible. He knew the moment he walked in the door he’d have to take drug tests, as many as it took to prove he’d gotten high the night before. 

“Thanks, MJ. It means a lot.” Peter said. As they stood, Peter wrapped his arms around MJ’s middle. 

When they got to MJ’s apartment, she turned on the news, which, in the long run, was a mistake. 

“Spider-Man has still yet to return to the streets of Queens. He was last seen the beginning of the summer by a group of teens leaving school on their last day. Where is the masked vigilante, and will he be coming back?” 

“Fuck.” Peter muttered, rubbing his face lethargically.

“Are you coming back?” Asked MJ as she lowered herself onto the couch next to him. 

“I dunno, how much of a turn off would it be for the media if they found out Spider-Man was an addict?” Peter asked, taking a sip of water. 

“If you don’t tell them, they’ll think you just, took at vacation or something.” MJ shrugged, taking the water bottle out of Peter’s hand and taking a swig.

”I mean, I _want_ to go back, ya know? I really miss it and all. But I don’t know if dad wants me back on the streets quite yet. He’s lucky me and Morgan haven’t been made public. Or this shit would I be so much worse.” Peter said, laying his head on MJ’s lap. 

MJ ran her hand’s through Peter’s curls, whispering about how everything was gonna be ok. 

“But you _have to_ get clean man, you’re really not ok.” MJ said as she let him fall asleep on her lap. 

* * *

The next day, Peter went home. 

“Where the Hell were you?” Was the first question he was asked. 

“I was- I was with MJ, dad. I thought I texted you?” Peter replied lazily, rubbing his eyes with his palms. 

“Yeah? Well, you thought fucking wrong.” Tony stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why does it fucking matter so much? It’s not like I was out getting fucking high!” Peter yelled, throwing his arms into the air. 

_But I was, and MJ helped cover my ass for three whole days because of it. Why the fuck am I lying? Cause I don’t want to go back to rehab?_

“Peter, you got out of fucking rehab five days ago and you’re already out getting fucking high every night again! I know you’re fucking lying to me! Why? Why are you destroying yourself?” Tony asked, pinning Peter into a corner. 

“Because I didn’t fucking ask to me alive, Dad! All I ever fucking wanted was to feel the euphoria of not feeling anything! Maybe I don’t want to feel, I didn’t _ask_ to be me!” Peter screamed, pushing his dad off of him. 

“Bambi-“ 

“Don’t call me that.” 

“-You’re begin unreasonable, you don’t mean that.” 

“Yes I fucking do! I didn’t ask to be fucking born!” Peter yelled before walking into his room and slamming the door. 

* * *

_”Hey, I’m- I’m Peter. I’m celebrating 60 days clean today.” The small crowd of druggies clapped for him, even though they knew it was bullshit._

_He was finally out, he had spent all summer in rehab and was finally getting out. He slid his oversized red hoodie on and zipped it up. Grabbing his bag, he made his way to freedom._

_When he opened to door to the outside world, he saw his mom’s car. He saw Morgan, now 13 years old running towards him._

_“Hey bub!” He called enthusiastically, wrapping his little sister into a hug._

_“Hey Mom!” He called from over his sister’s shoulder, waving happily at her, she waved back._

_“I missed you, bub.”_

* * *

A few hours later, there was a knock on his door, a meek voice called to him. 

“Peter?” _Morgan._

Peter got up off the floor, going to his door to let his sister in. 

“Hey, Bub. How are you?” 

“I think I should be asking you that.” She replied, launching herself onto Peter’s bed, looking out of the giant windows over the dark New York skyline. 

“Where have you been the last three days?” Morgan asked Peter as he laid down beside her. 

“I was with MJ.” He shrugged, flipping the TV on. 

“Getting high?” Morgan asked, looking up at her brother. 

“You can tell me, you know. I won’t be upset.” She said. 

Peter just shrugged. “It’s nothing you need to worry about, Morg.” 

Morgan just nodded, flicking her eyes back o the TV.

* * *

**_And then it happens. That moment when your breath starts to slow._ **

**_And every time you breathe, you breathe out all the oxygen you have._ **

**_And everything stops:_ **

**_your heart, your lungs, then finally, your brain._**

**_And everything you feel, and wish, and want to forget, it all just sinks._ **

**_And then suddenly...you give it air again, you give it life again._ **

* * *


End file.
